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Day 146 of the Women’s Bible Plan: Read Colossians 3:18-19 and reflect on Paul’s teaching about marriage, order, love, and not treating one another harshly. This devotional helps women consider what it means to learn biblical order “in the Lord,” while also seeing that husbands are called to love their wives and not be bitter or harsh toward them.
🌸 Dear Sister, welcome to Day 146 of our reading journey.
🌸 Dear Sister, welcome to Day 146 of our reading journey.
When we hear words like “wives, submit” and “husbands, love your wives,” many people may have complicated feelings. Some think of the beauty of God’s design for marriage, while others may remember wounds, misuse, silence, pressure, or pain within real relationships. If this passage is taken out of context—requiring only the wife’s submission while ignoring the husband’s sacrificial love—it can easily turn marriage into a relationship where one person suppresses the other. That is not the picture of marriage in Christ.
Colossians 3:18-19 is brief, but deeply important. Paul is not teaching a loveless, careless, or irresponsible household order. He is placing marriage under the lordship of Christ. Both wife and husband are called to learn their roles before the Lord. A wife’s submission is not the loss of dignity, and a husband’s leadership is not control or harshness. A truly Christ-centered marriage is one where both people first submit to Christ, then learn to treat one another with love, respect, gentleness, faithfulness, and responsibility.
A Minute of Grace
A Minute of Grace
Earlier in Colossians Chapter 3, Paul reminds believers that since they have been raised with Christ, they are to seek the things above, put off the old self, put on the new self, and clothe themselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and longsuffering. Then in verses 18 and 19, Paul brings this new life in Christ into the marriage relationship.
He says, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.” The point is not that wives are inferior, nor that husbands are absolute authorities. The key phrase is “in the Lord.” The order of marriage must remain within the lordship, truth, and character of Christ. A wife’s submission is not blind tolerance of sin, nor is it losing her voice in the face of harm. Rather, in reverence for the Lord, it is learning respect, support, partnership, and the building up of the household.
Paul then says to husbands, “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” This command is just as important. A husband’s responsibility is not to demand, control, or become cold and harsh. He is commanded to love his wife and not treat her with bitterness. This love is not merely emotional affection or material provision. It includes cherishing, protecting, listening, bearing responsibility, showing tenderness, and treating his wife with the heart of Christ.
So this passage is not a tool for either spouse to control the other. It brings both husband and wife before the Lord. The wife learns submission in the Lord; the husband learns love and gentleness in the Lord. The wife is not called to suffer silently, and the husband is not permitted to rule harshly. The beauty of marriage is seen when both people allow Christ to be Lord, supporting and shaping one another in His love.
Today’s theme, “Wives Submitting and Husbands Loving Sacrificially,” invites us to reflect: Has my view of marriage been renewed by Christ? Have I misunderstood submission as the loss of self, or leadership as the right to control? In the Lord, God does not call husband and wife to consume one another, but to build one another up; not to wound one another with power, but to live with order, tenderness, and responsibility in love.
Whispers for the Heart
Whispers for the Heart
1 Paul says that a wife’s submission is “fit in the Lord.” How do you understand the boundary and protection of the phrase “in the Lord”? How does it help you see that biblical submission is not blind endurance of sin, control, or harm, but learning respect and partnership under Christ?
2 Paul commands husbands to love their wives and not be bitter against them. In marriage or family relationships, how can love become concrete through gentle words, patient listening, shared responsibility, refusing emotional coldness, and not taking pressure out on the other person?
3 If you are married, are you willing to bring your marriage before the Lord again and ask Him to help both you and your spouse learn Christlike love and order? If you are not married, how does this passage help you build a healthy expectation for marriage—not only romance, but also spiritual responsibility, respect, and sacrificial love?
As you read Colossians 3:18-19 today, do not see this passage merely as a rule about “who listens to whom.” See how Christ renews relationships within the home. A marriage that belongs to the Lord is not one person overpowering another, but two people learning humility, love, respect, and responsibility before Christ.
Take a quiet breath before you begin. Bring your thoughts and feelings about marriage, submission, love, wounds, expectations, and family relationships before the Lord, and let His Word meet you there.
Today's Grace · Morning Dew 🕊️
Today's Grace · Morning Dew 🕊️
“Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.”
— Colossians 3:19
🎞️ Today's Youtube Video
🎞️ Today's Youtube Video
🪕 Response Hymn:
🪕 Response Hymn:
Colossians 3:18-19 (KJV)
Colossians 3:18-19 (KJV)
18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
A Quiet Moment of Prayer
A Quiet Moment of Prayer
✨ Thank you for walking through today’s Scripture with us, dear sister.
Colossians 3:18-19 brings the marriage relationship before Christ. It shows us that order in marriage is not meant for oppression, and love is not an empty word. Wives learn submission in the Lord, and husbands learn love without harshness or bitterness. Both need to be renewed by the life of Christ. Now, let us bring our marriages, family views, relational weaknesses, and longings before God in prayer.
Today’s Prayer Focus: Learning Order, Love, and Gentleness in the Lord
Today’s Prayer Focus: Learning Order, Love, and Gentleness in the Lord
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Understanding Submission and Respect in the Lord
Father, thank You for reminding me through today’s Scripture that marriage is not meant to operate according to the world’s pattern of power, but according to love and order in Christ. Help me understand the word “submission” rightly. Do not let it be misused as oppression, silence, or the loss of dignity. And do not let wounds from the past cause my heart to reject Your Word altogether.
Lord, if I am married, teach me to learn respect, communication, partnership, and support in You—not out of fear or people-pleasing, but out of reverence for You and trust in You. If I am not married, help me build a healthy view of marriage even now, understanding that marriage is not only romance and companionship, but also responsibility, humility, order, and mutual upbuilding. May my heart first submit to Christ, so that in every relationship I may become more like You. Amen.
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Praying for Husbands to Learn Sacrificial Love
Lord, Your Word clearly commands husbands to love their wives and not be bitter against them. Help husbands not to turn leadership into control, pressure into anger, silence into coldness, or the home into a place where emotions are carelessly poured out on family members. May they learn the sacrificial love of Christ, loving their wives with gentleness, faithfulness, responsibility, protection, and care.
I also pray for sisters who are wounded in marriage. If someone has long been disregarded, hurt by words, treated coldly, controlled, or placed in an unsafe relationship, please protect her, give her wisdom, and surround her with the right help and support. Lord, may Your truth never become a burden that crushes the wounded. Let it become light, healing, and a power that brings real change. Amen.
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Interceding for Sisters
Interceding for Sisters
Father, I also pray for the marriages and families around me. You know that many marriages may appear calm on the outside while inside they carry loneliness, disappointment, pressure, and hidden wounds. Some wives have long felt misunderstood. Some husbands do not know how to express love. Some couples have become used to silence and conflict. Some families are weary from children, finances, caregiving, aging parents, or the burdens of daily life.
Lord, enter these homes. Give courage for communication, softness for repentance, grace for forgiveness, and hope for renewed love. Raise up mature spiritual companions, pastors, and wise counseling resources so that couples in need do not struggle alone. In church and fellowship, help us not only admire beautiful marriages from a distance, but also truly support one another and pray for the weaknesses and needs within marriage. Amen.
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Praying for Marriages and Families in This World
Compassionate God, I also pray for marriages and families throughout the world. Many homes are wounded by selfishness, violence, betrayal, poverty, addiction, coldness, and broken values. Many women suffer in marriage through disrespect, harsh treatment, neglect, or harm. Many husbands and wives do not know how to love, but repeat the wounds they received in their families of origin.
Lord, have mercy and heal broken homes. May husbands learn love and self-giving. May wives receive dignity and wisdom in You. May children grow in safer and more loving environments. Let the Church become a place that supports families, protects the vulnerable, teaches truth, and practices love. May the world see that marriage in Christ is not oppression or harshness, but a testimony of love, faithfulness, respect, responsibility, and grace. Amen.
🪕 Response Hymn:
🪕 Response Hymn:
💡 Closing Thought · Building One Another Up in the Lord
💡 Closing Thought · Building One Another Up in the Lord
After reading Colossians 3:18-19, we see that Paul’s teaching for husband and wife is not a one-sided demand. It brings both spouses before Christ. Wives learn submission in the Lord, and husbands learn love without bitterness or harshness. Order in marriage is not meant to silence one person, but to help both people learn humility, respect, and self-giving before God.
As we close this page and return to real life, the lessons of marriage often happen not in especially spiritual moments, but in daily choices: how a sentence is spoken, how a conflict is handled, whether tenderness remains in tiredness, and whether healing is sought after hurt. Remember this: God cares about the real way husbands and wives treat one another. He is willing to enter the misunderstandings, coldness, and tears no one else sees.
May today’s Scripture remind you that order in the Lord is not oppression, but partnership in love; submission in the Lord is not the loss of dignity, but trust in Christ; and love in the Lord is not empty speech, but refusing harshness, refusing contempt, and refusing to escape responsibility. May God help every household learn to build one another up in His grace.
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